Chewy Vanilla Bean Cinnamon Bars

At times, I struggle to live in the moment. I'm always looking forward, planning ahead, or dreaming about the future. When the everyday begins to grow lackluster, my mind wanders to exotic holidays through ancient cities and foreign landscapes or to the everyday moments of future life that may or may not come to pass. My head drifts above the clouds while my body goes through the daily routines.

I struggle to ground myself in the familiar day-to-day activities of making dinner and studying for exams.

In many ways, a part of me has always been a dreamer. When I was younger, I could never decide what I would be when I grew up. I could imagine the details of a life where I was an author, a zookeeper, a doctor, or an astronomer. I wanted to play a part in all of these lives. I never wanted to settle down, to make a real decision about life, because it felt like there was such a finality about doing so. I wanted to leave more doors open than I would ever hope to shut.

When I walk through home and furniture stores, I imagine my future home and how I'll fill the empty rooms. My home by the sea will hold worn wood furniture and carry the colors of the skies; my home in the woods will welcome long shadows, stone, and the spirit of a dancing flame. These daydreams feel so real in my head; I find myself too busy divining a future that I've failed to cover the white-walls in my current apartment to make my house feel more like a home.

As I've grown up, the dreamer in me has had her fair share of doses of reality. Decisions are inevitable (though never final) and every path has its share of ups and downs. Even when doing something I love, my head still floats above the clouds, wondering what may be around the next corner. As the ever wise JK Rowling cautioned me, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." Those words struck such a chord.

The truth is that I have been forgetting to live in the present for quite awhile now. Instead of dreaming about becoming a mother or wife, a teacher or world traveler, I need to appreciate being a young woman with few ties to hold me down and high aspirations to lead my way. These days will pass too soon. Thanks for the reminder, Ms. Rowling.

These Vanilla Bean Cinnamon Bars have a little trick up their sleeves. Though they may appear to be cake-like in texture, they are actually pleasantly dense and chewy. Vanilla bean and cinnamon round out the flavor, while cornmeal lends the surprisingly texture. Topped with a light vanilla glaze, these bars may find a place in your fall rotation.

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Strawberry Honey Oatmeal Bars

Sometimes life saddles us with responsibilities we didn't ask for, never wanted, and couldn't anticipate. Big or small, these responsibilities become our own. Maybe they were never meant to be ours, but we can't help but make them into our own albatrosses to bear.

This morning while settling down on the couch to get some work done, I heard a chirp. At first, I wasn't sure exactly what I heard. It happened again. Chirp chirp. I looked towards the window to spot the bird, but the frame was empty.

Chirp Cheep.

The sound was coming from the fireplace. More specifically, it was echoing inside the flume. With my ear pressed up against the glass pane of the gas fireplace, I confirmed the worst. The little bird was trapped.

And I found myself with a sudden responsibility—to free her.

I quickly shut off the gas to the fireplace to prevent the heat from the pilot light burning her little feet. Then, I climbed out onto the roof to see how she found her way there in the first place. For whatever reason, the slats on the flume had opened and perched on top was another little bird—her mate—guarding her fiercely. As it turns out, the poor love birds had unfortunately discovered the flume was a terrible place to build a nest and home.

Listening to the desperate chirping of the little birds to one another, I too felt helpless. I wondered whether the bird had fallen and broken a wing; I pictured her singing sad melodies out from the echoing metal of the flume until she reached the end of her time.

The world can be so cruel sometimes.

I called my mother with the little bird's plight and she helped try to dismantle the gas fireplace so we could reach her. We didn't succeed. As we wondered what would become of her, I sat near the fireplace, as if my empathy could somehow reassure her. Instead, it was the sound of her irregular chirping that reassured me.

The proper people were called in to help rescue the bird. When the flume was finally opened, the living room scattered with pieces from a torn-apart fireplace, there was nothing to be found inside. It was empty. The little bird had managed to fly out from the flume, freeing herself on her own accord.

If I hadn't sat down on the couch, I never would have heard the sound of her small chirp. Her problems would never have become my own. If I hadn't sat down on the couch, her predicament would have remained undiscovered. Yet, the result would have been the same—freedom. The little bird's plight was never meant to be my albatross to bear but, because I turned it into my own, we were both able to revel in her victory.

May I never have to hear another chirp where it doesn't belong again.

Strawberry Honey Oatmeal Bars are sweet and chewy. The bars bake up soft from the strawberry jam, yet hold together well making them extremely portable. I loved them hot from the oven, where the strawberry jam was thick and warm. However, they are just as good the second day, tasting better than the boxed cereal bars of a similar nature. I used this strawberry balsamic jam and they were fantastic.

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Pumpkin Chocolate Granola Bars

This morning I did something completely out of the ordinary. I took a break. After working nearly eighty hour work weeks for the last month (or three? They all seem to blur together), I haven't had much free time. I truly enjoy what I do at each job but, at the end of the day, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Or really, just too much. Though the end of this madness is in sight (hurry up January!), there is still another month of workaholic tendencies to attend to.

Today, however, I found myself with an entire morning with blissfully nothing to do. Four hours. Four hours doing absolutely nothing.

It was a beautiful, beautiful morning.

Truth be told, I'm not used to having free time so it took me a moment to fully settle into my lazy groove. I caught up on Gossip Girl, my favorite guilty pleasure, while eating up the last of the leftover Honey Cinnamon Roasted Chickpeas from Thanksgiving (these are so addictive!). When I had my fill of television, I took out the arts and crafts. Last Christmas I received a card making kit and for some reason I never got around to putting them together. So I put on a little Ella Fitzgerald, brought out the scissors and glue, and got to work.

This was on track to be one of the best mornings in a long time, except for one minor detail. Can you guess what was missing?

Chips and soda, people. Chips and soda.

I almost never eat chips or drink soda. Since my life tends to often be consumed by sweets (if this blog and the fact that I work in a bakery weren't enough of a hint already), I often try to eat as healthy as I can at home. While this means I occasionally snack on chips or soda instead of apple slices or water, I never eat or drink both at the same time.

This morning, however, was a special occasion. There were chips and soda, cards and crafts, and enough of these Pumpkin Chocolate Granola Bars to round out a meal called lunch.

Is this what heaven feels like?

What guilty pleasures do you like to indulge in when you have free time?

These Pumpkin Chocolate Granola Bars are a spin-off of the Pumpkin Granola I made earlier this autumn. These bars feature pumpkin, chocolate chips, almonds, dried cranberries, and flaked coconut, though you could certainly play around with ingredients to adapt the bars to your personal taste. Most of the sweetness in the bars comes from the chocolate chips and, without any butter or oil, they are even good for you. These granola bars make for a healthy snack or a quick breakfast on the go.

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