Chewy Vanilla Bean Cinnamon Bars

At times, I struggle to live in the moment. I'm always looking forward, planning ahead, or dreaming about the future. When the everyday begins to grow lackluster, my mind wanders to exotic holidays through ancient cities and foreign landscapes or to the everyday moments of future life that may or may not come to pass. My head drifts above the clouds while my body goes through the daily routines.

I struggle to ground myself in the familiar day-to-day activities of making dinner and studying for exams.

In many ways, a part of me has always been a dreamer. When I was younger, I could never decide what I would be when I grew up. I could imagine the details of a life where I was an author, a zookeeper, a doctor, or an astronomer. I wanted to play a part in all of these lives. I never wanted to settle down, to make a real decision about life, because it felt like there was such a finality about doing so. I wanted to leave more doors open than I would ever hope to shut.

When I walk through home and furniture stores, I imagine my future home and how I'll fill the empty rooms. My home by the sea will hold worn wood furniture and carry the colors of the skies; my home in the woods will welcome long shadows, stone, and the spirit of a dancing flame. These daydreams feel so real in my head; I find myself too busy divining a future that I've failed to cover the white-walls in my current apartment to make my house feel more like a home.

As I've grown up, the dreamer in me has had her fair share of doses of reality. Decisions are inevitable (though never final) and every path has its share of ups and downs. Even when doing something I love, my head still floats above the clouds, wondering what may be around the next corner. As the ever wise JK Rowling cautioned me, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." Those words struck such a chord.

The truth is that I have been forgetting to live in the present for quite awhile now. Instead of dreaming about becoming a mother or wife, a teacher or world traveler, I need to appreciate being a young woman with few ties to hold me down and high aspirations to lead my way. These days will pass too soon. Thanks for the reminder, Ms. Rowling.

These Vanilla Bean Cinnamon Bars have a little trick up their sleeves. Though they may appear to be cake-like in texture, they are actually pleasantly dense and chewy. Vanilla bean and cinnamon round out the flavor, while cornmeal lends the surprisingly texture. Topped with a light vanilla glaze, these bars may find a place in your fall rotation.

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Cinnamon Roll Cookies

Cinnamon is my favorite spice. It feels bold to type those words out on the page, but I sense it's the truth. Cinnamon reminds me of late autumn afternoons, when the sky is darkening, the air is crisp, and the leaves on the trees mimic the shades of the rainbow. Cinnamon reminds me of my mother's homemade rice dish—creamy, sweet, and covered with a thick layer of spice. Cinnamon reminds me of apple cider and spiced wine, close friends, and cozy evenings.

I'm finally ready for fall.

There has been a long running debate in my house over cinnamon rolls and caramel rolls. It's a bit of a silly debate to have in the first place; either roll is welcome in our home and eaten without complaint. However, if push comes to shove, our opinions emerge and are freely given. My family prefers the richness of a caramel roll, drowned in a thick layer of its namesake, while I am fond of cinnamon rolls, tender and covered in a lovely cream cheese glaze. Homemade and hot from the oven, though, it's hard to go wrong with either option.

I told you it was a silly debate.

The weather has been quickly in decline the last week, with cooler temperatures and windy evenings. Cool weather makes me feel like baking and, since I've been avoiding the oven for much of the summer, the yeast was calling me from the refrigerator. There is something about the feel of dough beneath my fingers and the scent of yeast hanging in the air that has a calming effect on me. Without much thought, I found myself whipping up a batch of cinnamon rolls. However, instead of leaving myself with a pan of large rolls I could never hope to enjoy all by myself, I cut the dough thinly and baked the rolls on their sides, turning the classic rolls into sweet cookies I can share with everyone.

A few seconds in the microwave elevate these cookies into a warm, sticky sweetness I adore.

Cinnamon Roll Cookies are full of sweetness and cinnamon and fall. The cookies are essentially cinnamon roll dough, cut thinly and baked. The cookies crisp up around the outside, but stay soft and tender on the inside resulting in a classic cinnamon roll flavor with a new texture. The cookies are made with yeast and do take a bit of time to put together, but I think the end result is definitely worth the trouble. The recipe is easily doubled if more cookies are on the menu.

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Zucchini Chocolate Chip Muffins

Over Labor Day weekend, I spent an afternoon on my grandparent's farm. With spacious skies, fresh air, and endless fields of rolling grass, the prairie reminds me why I call it home. My grandparent's farm could come out of a children's book with the bright green tractors, dirt and ducks, and big red barn. A small garden near the house overflows with zucchini and cucumbers. The smell of bread and butter wafts from the windows of the house.

The farm is a place to escape from technology and learn to appreciate the simplicity of nature.

My sister and I love to go on "adventures" whenever we visit, exploring the land as it changes between seasons. This time we walked through a sunflower field, dancing between the plants as we weaved a path to the center of the field, the smell of plants and dirt filling the air. The bright green plants with brown flowers towered over our heads, the distinct yellow of the sunflowers fading as the seeds inside prepare themselves for the harvest. Twenty feet into the field, our entrance was completely obscured. The sunflowers appeared to go infinitely in every direction, an endless field of life and growth.

Taking a break to rest in the dry dirt, my sister and I stopped to sample the fruits of the flower's labor. The heads of the sunflowers were twice the size of my own, facing the ground instead of the sun from the sheer weight of a fruitful summer. It took two hands to lift the giant flowers up towards the sun; I never knew sunflowers could grow to be so unbelievably large.

We sampled the sunflower seeds, plucking them from the center of the flower, admiring the fuzz that surrounded each seed as if it was a ripe peach. The soft fuzz was a surprise for both of us, never imagining that sunflowers were or could be anything other than smooth. The seeds were pure white; the taste subtle. I felt a little closer to the earth that rested beneath my feet.

The rev of an engine drew us back out of the field. Hopping on a four-wheeler, we drove around the golden fields, the wind tangling my hair as we circled around hay bales, the sun peeking out behind the clouds to illuminate the golden grass. Dinnertime drew us back into the house and the scent of German cooking filled the air. We never fail to eat our fill.

At the end of the day, it's hard to leave the farm and go back to reality. I never get enough of the crisp air and piercing stars after a setting sun.

Zucchini Chocolate Chip Muffins feel like a pleasure from a simpler time. The muffins are surprisingly moist and flavorful. Even though zucchini is added to the batter, the vegetable flavor remains subtle. With the addition of cinnamon, nutmeg, and chocolate chips, the muffins are given the feel of a spice cake (with a bite of chocolate every now and then). A simple spread of butter is all these muffins need to make a lasting impression.

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