Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins

For the first time in my life, I'm living alone. I've moved to a city I know well, but it's been long enough since I've dwelled here that I am surrounded by strangers. Moving is about starting over, starting fresh, making new friends, and seeking out new experiences. It's building a new chapter in the book of life. Right now I'm in the "making new friends" stage and it feels harder to do now then when I was younger (of course, it doesn't help that I'm working two jobs and taking 10 graduate credits over the summer). While I have mixed feelings about living alone, I keep reminding myself that living alone isn't the same thing as being alone.

They are, in fact, two very different circumstances.

Living alone means sticking a spoon directly into the jar of peanut butter and double dipping to my heart's content. Living alone means watching an entire season of Big Love in a single day without having a soul to judge me for it. Living alone means forgoing pants when the temperatures rise without worrying about public indecency. Living alone means letting the dishes pile up in the sink until I decide I can't handle the mess. Living alone means doing impromptu dances to my favorite songs while baking and getting brownie batter all over the kitchen floor.

Living alone means creating a sanctuary for myself where I only need to answer for myself, a sanctuary I can then share with those I care most about.

Some days I do get plagued by loneliness, an inevitable factor in life whether you live alone or with others. It's hard moving somewhere new without having that network of love and support in the next room or halfway across town. That network still exists, but it's farther away than it was before. To temper the occasional lonely feelings, I treat myself to date nights; I'll buy myself a new red wine, cook myself a three course dinner, and dine by candlelight with a favorite television show sitting across the table. I'll escape into books, making lifelong friends with the characters buried in the pages. I roller blade through the neighborhood, finding a good dose of fresh air to cure most of life's ails.

Yes, being alone and living alone are too very different situations. Living alone means I can bake muffins at an obscenely early hour on a Saturday morning, banging about the pots and pans without apology. Oh, how I do like to bang around those pots and pans.

Cherry Cream Cheese Muffins are soft, sweet, and tangy. Fresh cherries are pitted, halved, and mixed into a whole wheat oatmeal muffin batter. Before heading into the oven, the muffin tops are swirled with cream cheese and sprinkled with sugar. The muffins are utterly light, with a crumb so small and so moist that they melt in your mouth. The recipe is vegan, but you can easily use non-vegan ingredients if they are already in your pantry. With a cup of tea or a mug of coffee, these muffins will brighten any morning.

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Rhubarb Ginger Muffins

This past weekend was spent packing up my belongings. Taking clothing out of the closet, folding it in baskets, and dearly hoping that it doesn't wrinkle. Pulling the baking supplies off the shelves, wrapping them in layers of paper towels and coffee filters, and placing them in boxes marked with the word glass in thick black marker. I wondered what's important enough to bring along or trivial enough to leave behind. I wondered if I've chosen correctly. It's strange to see my life packed up into cardboard boxes (and stranger still to see them fit neatly into the back of my car).

It's moving day.

Moving has always been such a bittersweet process for me. It's one of life's true adventures. New cities, new countries, new stories, and new friends are all out there, waiting to be discovered. The thought is exhilarating enough for the butterflies to awaken and whirl and twirl around my stomach. I'm attracted to the idea of moving, of cutting ties and embracing something fresh with open arms. The spirit of moving is looking the unknown in the eye, shaking his hand, and greeting him with a hello.

By the same token, moving is hard. I don't want to have to say goodbye to the place I call home, to the city I've grown familiar with, or to the people I love. Though I wish all my goodbyes could be see you later's, the truth is that sometimes they aren't. People or places get left behind; they fade away into oblivion, into memories, despite best efforts to clutch tightly onto them. I've moved a dozen times in the last five years. I've left so many things behind.

This time I haven't moved very far—only half a state and three hours away. For the first time in my life, I'm living alone. My belongings are unpacked, finding refuge in closets and cupboards. I feel optimistic. My adventure no longer sits on the horizon, to be gazed at with all the longing emotion of a fading sun. It's here and now. It's today.

As I sit here on this new-to-me couch, with my feet propped up on a borrowed coffee table, I wonder how long it will take for this new place to become home.

These Rhubarb Ginger Muffins were a whim on a Tuesday afternoon. Whole wheat ginger muffins meet a wonderfully tart rhubarb and lemon jam, blending bold flavors seamlessly. Just before baking, the muffin batter is topped with a spoonful of jam. Due to the weight, the jam falls directly into the center of the muffin while baking, making these muffins self-filling and giving them an unique appearance. I was surprised by how taken I was with these muffins; they easily fall into my nearest and dearest favorites.

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Cinnamon Sugar Muffins

The rich spice of cinnamon and the sweet tone of sugar compose one of my nearest and dearest comfort flavors. As far back as I can remember, cinnamon and sugar have been a sweet force in my life. The flavors complement each other so well, becoming the Sonny and Cher or Simon and Garfunkel of the culinary world.

Growing up, my babysitter would feed me cinnamon sugar toast on cold winter afternoons, after I had trudged home from school in the snow. The hot toast with a layer of melted butter and the spicy crunch of cinnamon sugar warmed my insides and brought the life back into my cheeks.

My mother makes a spectacular side dish out of white rice and cinnamon. A cross between sweet rice pudding and savory white rice, it is my favorite pairing to a grilled chicken breast. Nevertheless, the rice is creamy and just ever so sweet, with a thick sprinkling of cinnamon on top. Someday, I will be certain to share this treat with you, too.

Yet, cinnamon and sugar have found more subtle ways to pervade my life. My grandmother would coat her leftover pie crust pieces with cinnamon and sugar to make sweet, flaky cookies while we waited for the pie to bake. My mother grew up sprinkling cinnamon and sugar atop her pancakes, using a swirl of cream instead of maple syrup. I adore a light dusting of cinnamon and sugar on top of my morning oatmeal, making me feel as if I'm being decadent while enjoying a healthy meal.

That may be what I love most about cinnamon sugar—it's a sweet, simple way to bring decadence into everyday life.

These Cinnamon Sugar Muffins have a very unique taste and texture. It's almost as if a muffin and a doughnut got a little too cozy in the oven and popped out a batch of these muffins. Made with a little whole wheat flour, it's fun to pretend these are healthy (as long as you ignore the fact that the muffins are dipped in melted butter). These are lovely for both breakfast and a snack (and sometimes for both of these moments in the same day).

With my love for cinnamon sugar, these muffins were bound to happen sooner or later. The same, I think, can be said for this cake.

These Cinnamon Sugar Muffins are sweet and addictive. The muffins, straight from the oven, are not terribly sweet but they have a fantastic spiced flavor due to a hint of nutmeg and cinnamon. After cooling slightly, the muffin tops are dipped into melted butter and coated with cinnamon sugar. I love these plain, with no spreads or additives. Warm from the oven, these may very well be a small piece of heaven.

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