Banana Cocoa Smoothie
11.29.2011 
A year ago today marks the day I changed my life.
A year ago today I stepped into my grad school advisor's office and told him I had enough—I quit. After a disappointed nod of his head, I left the room and cleaned out my desk. I packed up my apartment, my life, and left the beautiful city of Montreal to move back home. I switched from a career in physics and research to pursue a life filled with butter and sugar.
I wondered if I would regret my decision. I wondered if it was silly or irresponsible to pursue baking, especially since I had discovered my oven not more than a year earlier. I wondered if baking was simply an escape from physics and nothing more. I wondered how I was going to explain to people that I had given up on my goals to become a smart and successful scientist so I could make cookies. I wondered all of these things and so much more.
Yet, a decision had been made. I was changing my life path. I crossed my fingers, took a deep breath, and leaped. I jumped off the proverbial cliff and it would take time to see where I would land.
A year later, it feels strange to reflect back on my decision and my uncertainty. All the drama and change feels so much longer than a year ago (and so far away from me today). I almost wish future-me could have visited past-me, if only to whisper everything is going to turn out okay.
It took a couple months, but I eventually found my footing. I'm currently working in a small bakery, mixing up everything from breakfast pastries to cakes and cookies. I fill cases with colorful, decadent desserts and pretend that calories don't exist (and, while I can convince myself, I haven't quite figured out how to convince my waistline). After my job at the bakery, I tutor students of all ages in math and science. It turns out I couldn't turn away from my physics background completely—I simply found a new way to enjoy it.
Life is full of unexpected twists. You can take the physics out of the lifestyle, but it seems you can't take the physics out of the girl. Who knew?
I don't regret the decisions I have made that lead me to today. In fact, knowing what I know now, dropping out of grad school may have been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I took a miserable existence and turned it into happiness—no small feat. The concerns that so plagued me just a year ago are miles away from me today. If I had never jumped ship into a sea of butter and cream, I would have spent the rest of my life wondering what if.
I'm not sure where my life is going to take me, or what I'll be doing a year or even five years from now, but I've learned that it's okay not to have a plan. I've learned that I can trust myself. I can (and will) figure it out when I have the experience to know what's right for me. Life is about the journey. It's about trying something new despite the threat of failure. It's about being brave, strong, and having confidence in yourself.
As Bob Moawad so beautifully phrased it, "The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours—it is an amazing journey—and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins."
You and I, we'll find our place in this mad, mad world. One day we'll wake up and realize exactly where we belong. Maybe we're already exactly where we need to be. But if you haven't reached that special place, you can't be afraid to pursue your wild and crazy dreams, whatever they may be. This is your life and you deserve to do what you love every single day. It's true. You do.
This Banana Cocoa Smoothie is sweet and refreshing. Though it uses tofu as a base, do not let this deter you. Tofu lends a thick creaminess to the smoothie without any flavor (plus tons of protein!). All the sweetness in the drink comes from the banana, with no added sugar. I added a tablespoon of cocoa powder for a chocolaty twist, since chocolate is always a good decision to make. The combination of chocolate and banana is truly decadent, which makes the fact that this smoothie is healthy so much more sinful.
One Year Ago: Sugar-Coated Daydreams
Banana Cocoa Smoothie
Yields about 2 cups
1 banana, frozen
1/2 cup soft tofu (yogurt can also be substituted)
3/4 cup almond milk (regular or soy milk may be substituted)
1 tablespoon cocoa powder
Ice cubes, optional
In a blender, combine all ingredients and blend until smooth. Pour into chilled glasses and serve with banana slices, if desired.
Reader Comments (40)
I love your recipes, your blog, your pictures. You are a truly great inspiration. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, readers.
I'm in a (kind of) similar situation that you were in a year ago- I'm an undergrad Engineering student, and I'm trying to figure out if that's really my passion or not. I'm good at it, but I spend all my free time either cooking or thinking about cooking. I like the idea of doing something good for the world (I'm an Environmental engineer, and sustainability is my interest) but I don't know if that's really what I want to do with my life, or if my dreams lie elsewhere (one dream I have is of growing all my own food, cooking all day...)
I'm not ready to totally switch yet, so I'm taking a hiatus from the math and science to study in Italy and hopefully I'll be able to see if I'm ready to return to engineering when the time comes, or if I'll just fall even more in love with food...
In the midst of uncertainty it really does help to hear "it'll be ok" once in awhile. You are absolutely right about needing to take the plunge to pursue something you love, even if it means recreating your whole life and all your own and others' previous expectations... because being uncertain is what being young is about, right?
Thank you for your beautiful work and for sharing your story.
Diana
This post sums up so many things I've had to figure out myself over the past year. I've had some doubts, just like you, where you doubt whether you've made the right choice or feel guilty for not doing the more 'esteemed' career in ____. I have no idea where I will end up in a few years, but what I do know, is that I won't have regrets or have the "what if' lingering over me for the rest of my life. That, in an of itself, is such a relief regardless of where my decisions will take me.
I had no idea you are still incorporating physics into your everyday life, good for you! :)
Rose-- Thank you so much! I feel so honored to have inspired you and I hope you pursue your dreams, whatever they may be.
Katrina-- Oh, trust me. It is. :)
Shauna-- I am so happy to hear you've found happiness! Taking a risk and making a change is never easy. So often the threat of failure prevents so many people from doing what they love. I don't like to think of it as failure so much as a temporary setback. If you want to do what you love, you'll find a way to do it. Thanks for sharing!
thelittleloaf-- Thank you for the kind words. I love the way you phrased your words, "if you don't try, how will you ever know what really makes you happy? " I truly believe this.
Amanda-- Everything does work out in the end and everything will be okay. I hope you find your way, wherever it may lead.
Heidi-- Thank you! I don't think 49 is too old to change. It's never too late to change. We always find excuses or reasons to not pursue what we love (in fact, you can find thousands if you look closely). It's moving past those excuses and looking forward that really matter. Bravery is hard to find, no matter your age.
Emily--I'm so happy to hear from you. Just ignore the naysayers. I went through many of those questions and comments too. Sometimes you have the answers and sometimes you don't, but if you feel what you're doing is right, that is all that truly matters. You don't need to explain yourself or your decisions to anyone. Good luck to you!
Meg-- Congratulations on your decision too!
Leanne-- Thank you! I think everyone has that kind of courage somewhere inside. It can be hard to find sometimes, I think.
Marta-- Thank you, Marta. Going with the flow has become my new motto, I think. It keeps me open to new ideas and new possibilities that I would have never considered before if they didn't "fit in the plan."
Dianna-- Thank you for the beautiful words. They mean so much to me. It sounds like we were in the same place. I was good at physics, but I didn't enjoy it. Instead, I daydreamed of food. You may end up in engineering, you may end up in food, or you may end up doing a little bit of both. I never thought I would find a new way to incorporate physics in my life today but it just sort of happened. Keep an open mind (though it sounds like that's exactly what you are doing). Italy sounds like a wonderful break to help you discover where you belong. One thing I do know for certain--you WILL fall in love with gelato.
Becca-- Making life decisions is always scary. Just keep open-minded to all the possibilities. Passion often finds you when you least expect. Bakery jobs can be fun, but they are also a lot of work (but then again, so is every job). I have a feeling you'll find your place. We always do.
Laura-- Likewise! I feel just the same when I tune into your posts. :)
I am so glad that period of great uncertainty is over (not that I'm not uncertain about things now, but it's different somehow. It's easier to manage). I know I would have spent my life wondering what ifs. A semester into grad school and I was already lamenting my lost future, ha! I'm so happy we were both able to regain our lives, accept the power this wields, and figure things out for ourselves... even if figuring it out leads us down and crazy and unpredictable road.
Ps: I'm excited to hear your news!
Love your post and the quote.Congrats on taking a big leap in life.You can never go wrong following your dreams with passionate dedication.My story is also somewhat similar.My new found passion,blogging and photography has turned a new leaf in my life from the old,unhappy and frustrated mom that I used to be.Thanks for sharing the story and the wonderful smoothie.
And lovveeellly photos! The drink looks amazing!
I learned about your site from a local newspaper and I have been really enjoying your site (& recipes) for couple of months. My family has loved some of the receipes that I have tried, even though they have never looked anything close to the great pictures you post.
You are a great inspiration to all for following your dreams and doing something you love.
Thank you.
It is great that you decided to follow your dream!
You are a true inspiration :)
Thanks for the recipe :)
Thank you for the recipe