Persimmon Cake

Two years ago to the date marks the day I took my life into my own hands and changed the course. It feels strange to reflect on my decisions since then. So much in my world has changed that if someone had told me how the direction of my life would zig and zag through different paths, I certainly wouldn't have believed them.

After quitting grad school for physics and moving back home, I jumped headfirst into baking and spent the next year working as a baker in two very different bakeries. The first position was in a small cake shop. While it was a lovely opportunity, it didn't allow me as much freedom in the kitchen as I would have liked. I moved onto a second, more expansive bakery that made dozens of pastries each day from scratch. Even though I had the freedom to create whatever I wished (and I loved this freedom), there was a small, but irksome feeling in the back of my mind that wouldn't quite go away. Something just didn't feel right.

Another change began brewing within me.

Though I've alluded to it several times on the blog, I've never outright told you that I no longer bake full-time. In many ways, I was afraid of what you would think of me. I made such a big deal of quitting school to follow my dreams that it seemed like I would be letting you down to suddenly back out on those plans. I feared you'd start to view me as capricious or fickle. Truthfully, I may have been afraid to admit to myself that I had made such a huge decision that didn't work out.

There were many reasons becoming a full-time baker wasn't right for me. The pay was low, the early morning hours were a constant battle, and I was in a constant state of exhaustion from working two to three jobs just to support myself. When I look back on those experiences, I truly loved baking, but the memories are so blurred from fatigue that all I remember is this constant feeling of trying to do everything I could to keep my head above the rising water of responsibilities. It was a bittersweet moment when I realized that I just couldn't afford to be a baker anymore, physically, emotionally, or financially.

I honestly believed baking was where I was supposed to be and it was such a devastating blow to realize the experience wasn't what I thought it would be. I had romanticized the life of a baker and reality was an unwelcome visitor.

The next few months I floundered around, uncertain of myself, uncertain where I belonged, worried my feet would never find the right footing. I continued to bake, but this time it was in my own kitchen, for myself (and for you). Baking has become a passionate hobby and I love enjoying the fruits of my labor. Don't worry; I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

The constant throughout all of these changes in my life was my job as a math and science tutor. It took a few nudges and not so subtle hints from a few people (thanks, Kari!) to help me realize it may have been my calling all along. Right now, I am right back in grad school, but this time for education. In a twist of irony, I plan to become a high school teacher in physics. I begin student teaching in January. Life is full of surprises, it seems.

My mother once shared a few words with her vulnerable daughter that I have never forgotten. She said that some people follow a linear path, the destination laid out in front of them, always in sight. Other people follow a curved path, twisting and turning, the unknown lurking around the next corner. Both of these paths, though very different, lead us to the place we are meant to be. My path may be riddled with curves, but I've learned to embrace the zigs and zags of my road.

Persimmon Cake is a cake to be enjoyed at the start of the winter season. Very ripe persimmons are pureed and mixed into a simple cake batter. The cake bakes up moist and fragrant from the persimmon puree. A splash of apple juice and a hint of spice bring together the flavors in this lightly spiced dessert. A simple sprinkling powdered sugar is all this cake needs to complete an afternoon tea.

Note: Persimmons are typically available in grocery stores from October to December and may take a couple weeks to fully ripen. Buy them now and enjoy them in the weeks to come!

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Hot Bourbon Apple Cider

We are constantly told to obey the law of moderation. Everyone from doctors and scientists to advertisements on television give us subtle, but constant reminders on what we should (and should not) be doing with our minds and our bodies. They warn us that we should be practicing moderation in everything from the way we eat to our activity levels or else. This idea of moderation pervades every aspect of our lives, spreading the belief that we may have a taste, but never take a bite. They tell us that if we practice moderation we will be healthier and happier, more wholesome and financially secure.

I disagree with the idea of moderating all of the elements of our lives. The rules governing moderation are strict and unforgiving. There is no room for error, for spontaneity, for the variety in life that only midnight snacks and staying up too late can bring. I want to replace the notion of moderation with one of balance. Life doesn't have to mean a eating a bowl of oatmeal every morning. It can (and should) mean the occasional hot fudge brownie sundae, too.

I'm happy to see that Julia Child feels the same way.

One glance at the three hundred sweet recipes on this blog and it's easy to come to the conclusion that my counter tops are lined with as many sweets as a bakery shelf. The reality is far from that truth. While I do eat my fair share of baked goods, the food on these pages often finds its way into friends' stomachs and onto coworkers' plates. I try to eat healthy outside of baking and, for the most part, I succeed. I try to make it to the gym for a couple hours a few times a week. I drink eight glasses of water and eat fruit and vegetables every single day. In many regards, I am the model of someone trying to practice moderation. However, as anyone could tell you, a dessert blogger is never going to achieve the ideals of moderation.

While there is a place for moderation in balance, there isn't necessarily a place for balance in moderation.

Last night I threw moderation to the wind. While watching my latest guilty pleasure, I sat down on the couch with a jar of peanut butter, a spoon, and a handful of toffee. I nibbled the toffee and ate spoonfuls of peanut butter straight from the jar. By the end of the show, the toffee had disappeared along with half of the jar. After a week of eating well and exercising regularly, a little indulgence just felt right. The truth is that I need small indulgences here or there to help me stay on a healthier (and happier) path. While moderation may frown at my indulgences, shaking its head in disappoint, balance embraces me for them, telling me to lick the spoon clean.

Good or bad, right or wrong, this is how I maintain the balance in my life. This is what works just right for me.

Hot Bourbon Apple Cider is a hot drink for cozy evenings. The ingredients are few, but the taste will bring warmth back into chilled limbs. Spiced apple cider is heated before combining with a shot of bourbon and a splash of orange juice. A cinnamon stick to stir the concoction together adds a hint of extra flavor. While drinking only one of these Hot Bourbon Apple Cider Cocktails would be practicing moderation, drinking two might just maintain the balance in your life.

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Baked Apples

I have grown a fond for apples over the last two years. Rarely a day goes by where you won't find one in my hand or on my plate. My mother refers to my apple-eating habit as an addiction (in jest) and I'm beginning to think she's right. Yesterday alone, I had apples for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in various forms. Perhaps it's the crispness of the first bite of an apple I simply cannot resist. Or maybe it is the fact that I love to spread my apple slices with a thick layer of peanut butter.

Whatever the reason, I do hope that old saying about apples is true. I don't want to go to the doctor any time soon.

My neighbors had an apple tree while I was growing up. The tree was next to the fence and the branches hovered over our garden, growing apples no bigger than the palm of my small hand. In early fall, the apples would begin to turn color; shades of red and green and yellow took over the tree. Wearing light jackets and long pants, my sister and I would steal apples under the cover of darkness, munching the tart fruit in the backyard. The biting tartness of the fruit was enough to make my eyes squint. When we were finished, we'd hide the evidence in the bushes.

It was, in many ways, the forbidden fruit.

My babysitter was the first person to introduce me to baked apples. She'd fill her apples with brown sugar and cinnamon, baking them until the house smelled like a rich apple pie. Baked fruit has always been a favorite of mine. The firm, yet tender, fruit and sweet fillings are the scents of autumn daydreams. I have a bad habit of forgetting about baked fruit when the seasons roll around.

This year, with a love of baking and a kitchen counter full of apples, it seemed destined for fruit to find its way into the oven.

Baked Apples are sweet, tart, and tender at the same time. The apples are filled with a mixture of brown sugar, oats, and sliced almonds, which gives a little crunch to the filling to offset the soft fruit. As the apples bake, the scent of cinnamon and apple pie fill the house, which only adds to the cozy effect these apples have on an autumn evening. Different sized apples may require shorter or longer baking times, so please adjust accordingly.

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