Berry Topped Angel Food Cake

Two big moments quietly arrived last week—Pastry Affair's 4th birthday and my own 26th birthday. Pastry Affair's momentous occasion arrived with little to no fanfare, forgotten at first, and sheepishly remembered a few days later. It feels so natural for me to identify as a blogger now, to spend hours each week in the kitchen and behind the camera creating. The event just slipped my mind. I should be celebrating these moments with more of a flourish (they do come few and far between); next year I hope to remedy this problem.

Pastry Affair and I struggled this past year (how much this showed, I do not know). As a first year high school teacher, I often felt emotionally drained, devoid of free time, and guilty for not being able to balance blogging with a new career. I knew this space would grow quieter once school began, my recipes decreasing from three times a week, to two, to one. I didn't, however, realize that my feelings towards blogging would change. Instead of being my safe haven, my escape from the world, it felt more like work than it ever had before. I began to avoid this space.

More than once this winter, I wanted to throw in the towel and say goodbye to this space—not indefinitely, but for awhile. I felt stuck, struggling with writer's block and a lack of inspiration. Despite these feelings, I pushed through to come out on the other side. My relationship with Pastry Affair is slowly on the mend. Baking and photography have stayed a constant love in my life; I am drawn back to it if I stay away for too long. With summer vacation starting next week (and more free time than I'll know what to do with), I imagine that our relationship will make strides. I am ready to love this space again.

Thank you for staying here, for your comments and emails, for your endless support. You are the ones who keep me coming back to this space, inspiring me to create new recipes, pushing me to grow as a photographer. Whether you realized it or not, this year I needed to feel your support the most and you certainly did not disappoint. Thank you, truly.

Strawberry Topped Angel Food Cake has been my birthday cake of choice since I was very young. I remember looking through an old Taste of Home cookbook as a child, seeing a picture of this cake in the centerfold pictures. It may not be brightly colored or adorned in frosting, but its simplicity was perfect for me. My mother made it for my birthday then and nearly every year since. The combinations have varied slightly, drowned in chocolate syrup some years, and left plain for others, but the heart of the cake has never changed. To tell you that I adore this cake simply would not express the memories or joy behind it.

As a newly defined 26 year old, I made my own birthday cake this year. I had a quiet celebration with my boyfriend, feeling more like an adult than I have in years past. I have a career, I keep up financial spreadsheets, I have a greater understanding of who I am. Even so, I haven't left young adulthood completely behind. I still binge watch my favorite television shows, I eat popcorn for dinner more often than I should, and I rarely make my bed. Mid-twenties, I have found, are an interesting harmony between youth and adult, a harmony that deserves cake.

Berry Topped Angel Food Cake has been and will always be my ideal cake. The cake is feather light with an incredible sponge. With a spread of whipped cream and a topping of ripe strawberries, the cake is complete. While any berry would be appropriate, I prefer the cake with sweet strawberries. This cake is a keeper, no matter how old or young you may be. Serve it with extra berries, macerated in their own juices, for those like me who would prefer berries with every bite.

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Chocolate Blackberry Cupcakes

The weather outside is still early spring. The trees are just beginning to bud, the grass is a spectrum of muddy browns and dull greens, and temperatures are consistently less than 50 degrees. I am tired of cold weather and cloudy afternoons. I feel like I live in the land of perpetual winter. It feels strange that school ends in two weeks, that summer will finally arrive (though I imagine it will be more in name than spirit for now).

Despite Mother Nature's mixed signals, I could use a little summer in my life right now.

Each spring, when the snow melts and the comfort food cravings disappear, I fill my grocery basket with berries. Strawberries, blackberries, blueberries... whatever happens to be on sale for the week. I pick through half a dozen containers before I find the least damaged ones. I know these berries pale in comparison to their in season counterparts, both in taste and appearance, but I cannot help but fill my refrigerator with them.

They remind me of sunshine, warm afternoons, and good books. Those feelings have been sorely missed.

After a particularly fruitful grocery run, I had a tower of blackberries on the counter ready to be used. Though blackberry and vanilla go together well, I like to believe that blackberry and chocolate go together better. I boiled down the berries to release their juices, used the juice to make a fruity chocolate ganache, and dumped the rest of the berries into the cupcake batter. I infused these cupcakes with berries in as many ways as I knew how.

The finished cupcakes are light, the chocolate is rich, and they are wonderful, no matter the weather.

Chocolate Blackberry Cupcakes combine cocoa and berries in more ways than one. The delicate cupcake and the ganache contrast against one another, bringing out their difference in texture, but emphasizing the similarity in flavor. These cupcakes are lovely when served cold or at room temperature. The cupcakes can be made easily vegan by using dairy-free chocolate and milk.

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Peanut Butter Chocolate Frosted Cake

Dear Friend,

It's been awhile since we've last spoken. Months, years—I've lost count. We used to be close, you and I, talking and laughing over ordinary events and everyday life. We discussed the simple things, such as what we were making for dinner, as often as the big events, the events that would eventually lead our lives away from each other and down different paths.

We no longer live in the same place together, now separated by time zones and countless miles. Our friendship held in the beginning. Though we never talked as often as we wished, we made time now and then to sit in front of a computer and catch up, stealing glimpses of each other's new lives through our living room backdrops. A painting here, a splash of color there; foreign to me, but so familiar to you.

Then, as time predicted it would, our friendship grew strained. A missed call here, a forgotten reply there, and we began to drift apart. As our new lives took hold, it all but seemed to evaporate together. We didn't talk anymore, but we thought of each other often and then less. I learned about your daily life online, so informal and impersonal, but I would take it over silence.

Time and distance pulled us apart. We had fallen victim to the most common reason of lost friendship. We were not the first, nor will we be the last, but knowing this doesn't make it any easier to stomach. Perhaps it was the right time for our friendship to come to a close. Perhaps we will never know.

I feel as if too much time has passed to reach out to you and pretend as if we still are the friends that we were so long ago. I'm torn between writing you to say hello and never writing words to page in the first place. I think of you every now and again, wondering what your daily life is like, hoping that you are happy. I do wish the dearest of happiness to you.

If we do find each other again, I'd love to invite you over for an afternoon, where we could drink coffee and eat cake and talk about simple things and big events. I'd make you this cake, a combination of flavors that you loved more than I ever did. I'd love to hear how you are doing. I've missed you.

As always,
Me

Peanut Butter Chocolate Frosted Cake is a classic cake with a familiar flavor combination. The cake is mixed with peanut butter, which permeates the cake through and through. The final cake is dense, but moist. Spread with a thick chocolate buttercream, it begins to taste dreamy. This is the type of everyday cake that should be enjoyed with friends and loved ones, on sunny afternoons with a side of conversation.

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