Almond Butter Cupcakes with Mocha Buttercream

Growing up, I was a picky eater, especially when it came to tree nuts. I avoided them during my childhood and teenage years simply because they looked "gross" to me. Each Christmas, my father would get a jar of mixed nuts wrapped up in a bow. He'd offer them to me to give a try and I'd turn him down. Though nuts were frequently found in the cupboards and in desserts at family get-togethers, I was so frustratingly picky I wouldn't give them a chance.

Not a single one.

I visited an allergist for the first time after my tongue swelled up like a balloon after eating fresh kiwi in a middle school Beginning Foods course. As long as we were there, my mother and I decided to test for a slew of random foods, animals, and plants. Most notable was my allergy for cats (already known) and, surprisingly, tree nuts. In fact, my arm grew so angry red and swollen, the allergist immediately wrote me out a prescription for adrenaline. I was severely allergic to most tree nuts and never knew it.

Since that day, I've landed myself in the emergency room ICU from a single, accidental bite of an "oatmeal raisin" (macadamia nut) cookie. I've developed the early symptoms of an allergic reaction when I'm in a room where other people are eating pecans just from breathing in the microscopic pieces hovering in the air. I've interrogated many bakers and cooks what exactly is in the food they make hoping that, unlike a particular lady and a "chocolate cake" incident (Oh, hazelnuts are a nut? Whoops.), they'll let me know what to avoid.

In a twisted piece of fate, the fact that I was such a frustratingly picky eater growing up may have saved my life.

Even so, I've always been inexplicably drawn to almonds. I remember moments of guilty pleasures when I'd sneak a few chocolate covered almonds from the cupboard before my parents came home from work. Though I am supposed to avoid all tree nuts as a precaution towards cross contamination, I am technically (and oddly) not allergic to almonds. If you pay attention to the sheer number of almond recipes on this website, you may think of me as either rebellious or an unnecessary risk taker.

However, if I wasn't a bit of a rebel, these cupcakes wouldn't exist and oh boy am I glad they exist.

Almond Butter Cupcakes with Mocha Buttercream are dark, gorgeous, and unexpected. The cupcakes are made with almond butter, which lends a texture to the cupcake that is both light and dense, while just barely sticking to the roof of your mouth. Frosted with a rich mocha buttercream, the flavors compliment one another immensely, making it impossible to eat just one. The almond flavor in these cupcakes is very real (no almond extract involved), which sets them apart from other almond cupcake recipes.

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Grapefruit Cake with Grapefruit Buttercream

Lately I've had intense cravings for sour and tart foods. With my traditionally sweet and salty palate (with nary a deviation), this sudden change in taste took me (and my cupboards) by surprise. The cravings would hit me out of the blue. On long car rides, I suddenly found myself buying sour candy (a rarity for me) and finding myself disappointed at the lack of a face-scrunching flavor punch. "Sour" snacks were hardly sour enough to nix my cravings.

After hitting that particular dead end, I turned towards citrus fruits.

My grocery cart began filling up with lemons. I was buying six or seven at a time, determined to create a dessert with a sour taste so pungent even I could be satisfied. What I didn't account for was that baking usually includes sugar (and sugar often puts a stop to that sour hit I so desperately craved). I made lemon bars. Lemon cookies. Lemon cupcakes. Lemon poppy seed muffins, twice. Each time a new dessert was attempted, I used less and less sugar and added increasingly more lemon juice or zest.

Though they were all delicious in each individual form, they just weren't what I was looking for. They weren't sour.

I spent nearly $20 on lemons in a single month, with nothing to show for it. It was a rough period for me, as a baker. I felt defeated, defeated by such a simple craving. I assuaged my sorrows by eating lemon slices, but it was hardly the spectacular dessert I had imagined.

During my next foray to the supermarket, the grapefruit found me. I'm on sale, they shouted at me. Buy us! Eat us! We will be sour enough for you! The grapefruit was, in fact, right. If ever a food should scream out at you from the supermarket shelves, do take heed. Paired with a sour, plain Greek yogurt, I found my breakfast of champions. It was only a small step to turn these ingredients into a tart (and softly sweet) cake.

This cake is fresh, bright, with a flavor you can truly appreciate whether you simply love a good grapefruit or have spent a month and unaccountable dollars trying to replicate.

This Grapefruit Cake with Grapefruit Buttercream has an original flavor, both clean and pure. After the warm cake emerges from the oven, it is brushed with grapefruit juice which soaks deep into the layers, making an unbelievably moist and tender cake (with just a hint of true tartness). The Grapefruit Buttercream lends a sweeter aspect to this cake. Made with a grapefruit juice reduction, the sourness of the juice balances out the sweetness of the powdered sugar. This cake itself, however, is the true star and is lovely when enjoyed in the afternoon, when the sun is bright and thoughts of spring are on your mind.

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Cinnamon Sugar Cake with Brown Sugar Cinnamon Buttercream

We are creatures of habit.

Good habits, bad habits, healthy habits, poor habits—we have them all. Some we are proud of, like our ability to be someplace on time or flossing our teeth before bed each evening. Some we are ashamed of, like the amount of books we don't make time to read or how often we bite our nails. Some are hard to keep and others are hard to lose. We have hundreds of little habits and, whether we like it or not, they help to define us. They help us through the day.

I originally sat down to write a post about my cravings to have a sweet ending with every meal, but I soon realized I wrote about that exactly one year ago. Since I've been trying to eat healthier in the new year (as I attempt every year), I often feel my sweet cravings hold me back from my fantasy health food diet. I plan on eating carrot sticks and quinoa, but cake finds its way into my daydreams instead. Sweetness has become a habit, much to the chagrin of my dentist.

I have a few good habits I'm proud to share. I make time to exercise every week. I eat breakfast every morning. I try to find the positive in every situation. I also have a few habits I would like to break. I wish I had the motivation to be more productive. I wish I made more time for the people I care about. It is as easy for me to be cruel as to be kind.

It's easy to be hard on ourselves when we struggle to break our bad habits. Sometimes we actually change them and it's a true moment of self celebration. More often than not, however, we find our habits too difficult to alter, despite our best intentions. Does this make us bad people? No. Habits are habits for a reason—they are extremely difficult to change. Some are so ingrained in ourselves, our souls, that they have almost become involuntary.

Accepting our habits, for better or worse, is something we all must come to terms with at some point in our lives. Wanting to change our bad habits and turn them into positive ones is honorable. Realizing that these habits make us who we are, the big and the small, the significant or insignificant, may be the most important revelation of all.

This Cinnamon Sugar Cake is frosted with a sweet Brown Sugar Cinnamon Buttercream. The cake is made with sour cream, which lends a moist texture to the final product, but the cake itself is not very sweet. The brown sugar buttercream, however, is the perfect complement to the cinnamon sugar cake. The brown sugar addition gives the buttercream a slight grit, which is reminiscent of a warm piece of cinnamon sugar toast. This cake is an everyday cake to sweeten up your daily moments.

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