Hot Cocoa Cookies

I haven't given out a valentine since elementary school. This is a sad realization I made just moments ago, but it's the truth. When I was small, Valentine's Day was an event. My mother allowed me to pick out the valentines going out to my classmates and, for every year, I picked out exactly the same one. The front had a drawing of a featureless cartoon face. The back held a bunch of stickers featuring silly glasses, large noses, and big ears. It was, in essence, the Mr. Potato Head of valentine's.

I figured if I loved this valentine enough to hand them out year after year, my classmates wouldn't mind receiving exactly the same one.

The first Valentine's Day that I did have a sweetheart, we were separated by a state. By the time we were near each other once more, the holiday was long forgotten. Though I have the same sweetheart this year, distance separates us once more. Perhaps the third year is the charm?

Nevertheless, I've gotten very good at rocking the single gal's Valentine's Day. Romantic comedies, brownies, and copious amounts of carbohydrates are prominently featured. One year I made a stack of chocolate chip rainbow pancakes that stood at least a foot tall (or so it seemed). I managed to get through half before falling into the happiest of food comas in front of my favorite romance movie, Moulin Rouge. Another year I made a batch of chocolate rum truffles and gifted them to myself (because I'm worth it).

This year, I'm planning a low-key celebration. There will be a big bowl of pasta, a glass of wine, one (or three) of these hot cocoa cookies, and an order of Ryan Gosling's abs for dessert. My Netflix account has seemingly read my mind and devoted an entire section to him. Who says I can't be my own valentine?

Whether you have someone to share this holiday with or not, whether you choose to recognize this day as a holiday or whether it's just another Tuesday, there is one thing we can all agree on—every day is made better with a batch of cookies.

The intersection of hot cocoa and cookies is sweet and gooey. These hot cocoa cookies have a thick, chocolate cookie base with a layer of chocolate and warmed marshmallow. These cookies are sweet and taste best when fresh from the oven (but then again, what doesn't?). If they are room temperature, I like to toss them in the microwave for a few seconds to melt the chocolate layer and soften the marshmallow. Though they wouldn't be amiss with a mug of hot cocoa, I love them with a tall glass of cold milk.

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Banana Cocoa Smoothie

A year ago today marks the day I changed my life.

A year ago today I stepped into my grad school advisor's office and told him I had enough—I quit. After a disappointed nod of his head, I left the room and cleaned out my desk. I packed up my apartment, my life, and left the beautiful city of Montreal to move back home. I switched from a career in physics and research to pursue a life filled with butter and sugar.

I wondered if I would regret my decision. I wondered if it was silly or irresponsible to pursue baking, especially since I had discovered my oven not more than a year earlier. I wondered if baking was simply an escape from physics and nothing more. I wondered how I was going to explain to people that I had given up on my goals to become a smart and successful scientist so I could make cookies. I wondered all of these things and so much more.

Yet, a decision had been made. I was changing my life path. I crossed my fingers, took a deep breath, and leaped. I jumped off the proverbial cliff and it would take time to see where I would land.

A year later, it feels strange to reflect back on my decision and my uncertainty. All the drama and change feels so much longer than a year ago (and so far away from me today). I almost wish future-me could have visited past-me, if only to whisper everything is going to turn out okay.

It took a couple months, but I eventually found my footing. I'm currently working in a small bakery, mixing up everything from breakfast pastries to cakes and cookies. I fill cases with colorful, decadent desserts and pretend that calories don't exist (and, while I can convince myself, I haven't quite figured out how to convince my waistline). After my job at the bakery, I tutor students of all ages in math and science. It turns out I couldn't turn away from my physics background completely—I simply found a new way to enjoy it.

Life is full of unexpected twists. You can take the physics out of the lifestyle, but it seems you can't take the physics out of the girl. Who knew?

I don't regret the decisions I have made that lead me to today. In fact, knowing what I know now, dropping out of grad school may have been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I took a miserable existence and turned it into happiness—no small feat. The concerns that so plagued me just a year ago are miles away from me today. If I had never jumped ship into a sea of butter and cream, I would have spent the rest of my life wondering what if.

I'm not sure where my life is going to take me, or what I'll be doing a year or even five years from now, but I've learned that it's okay not to have a plan. I've learned that I can trust myself. I can (and will) figure it out when I have the experience to know what's right for me. Life is about the journey. It's about trying something new despite the threat of failure. It's about being brave, strong, and having confidence in yourself.

As Bob Moawad so beautifully phrased it, "The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours—it is an amazing journey—and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins."

You and I, we'll find our place in this mad, mad world. One day we'll wake up and realize exactly where we belong. Maybe we're already exactly where we need to be. But if you haven't reached that special place, you can't be afraid to pursue your wild and crazy dreams, whatever they may be. This is your life and you deserve to do what you love every single day. It's true. You do.

This Banana Cocoa Smoothie is sweet and refreshing. Though it uses tofu as a base, do not let this deter you. Tofu lends a thick creaminess to the smoothie without any flavor (plus tons of protein!). All the sweetness in the drink comes from the banana, with no added sugar. I added a tablespoon of cocoa powder for a chocolaty twist, since chocolate is always a good decision to make. The combination of chocolate and banana is truly decadent, which makes the fact that this smoothie is healthy so much more sinful.

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Mexican Hot Cocoa Mix

I've been following American Idol this year. While the show and its contestants certainly have their ups and downs, I can't help but enjoy watching the stars emerge and the trains wreck. Perhaps the worst of it is that after watching an episode, I tend to get a false perception of my own singing ability. For a few (too many) moments, I actually believe that I can sing.

I can't sing.

My singing voice is reminiscent of the sounds of an angry cat. There is screeching, hissing, and a good chance you'll want to cover your ears. Oh, she's just being modest, you're probably thinking. No one is actually that bad. When I was younger, my mother would ask me to stop making "that noise."

I wish I could tell you I'm being modest.

My singing is limited to the car, with the windows up and the radio loud. In the privacy of my metal cage, there is no one to judge me. No one to cringe when I'm out of tune or in the wrong key. No one to wince when I fall flat trying to hit the big notes.

Alone in the car, I am Celine Dion. I am Madonna. I have the voice of Stevie Nicks and the vocals of Freddie Mercury. I can sing the blissful melodies of Ella Fitzgerald and the pop hits of Lady Gaga. My range knows no bounds. In those few short moments, I can sing.

I don't have to sing for you, my family, or my friends. I sing for myself. And that's good enough for me.

This Mexican Hot Cocoa Mix is smooth, rich, and oh so creamy. The cocoa has deep chocolate tones and the cinnamon gives it just the right amount of spice. Though I made mine with water, you could easily make this with milk but be sure to anticipate a truly creamy drink. Feel free to top it with whipped cream or marshmallows, but this drink doesn't need the toppings to stand out. The cocoa would satisfy even the purist of hot cocoa drinkers. This mix can be stored in your cupboards for months and months to be enjoyed whenever you need your hot cocoa fix.

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